Cold Heart

The lights are dim..
I am lost in touch of your whim.
You fancied me and left me to fantasize.
I touched you in my heart and felt paradise.
Yes you, the one who has hurt me and yet I bleed for you, the one who might have blurred me yet I breathe for you.
I remember the love on your lips.
I remember your hands on my ribs.
I remember your frenzy in me bore.
I remember your whisper to my furore.
I remember your fragrance making me crazy.
I remember your taste leaving me fuzzy.
You were adorable from head to toe.
I was high or numb falling behind your tow.
I loved you from the howling of my body.
I loved you also from the musings of my parody.
I loved you like I love water..
Around me always, yet thirst for some more of its splatter..
I loved you like I love a delicious graze
Filling me with wonder leaving me with heavenly taste..
I was so much into you and your warmth
I lost sight of when I lost my own aplomb
You pulled away the warm blanket you had covered upon me..
And the cold started weeping through me..
The cold stare, the nightmare, the blank fare
On which I had travelled so far to reach nowhere...
My being curdles now, sometimes boils, sometimes crumbles, sometimes foils its own attempt of reaching out to you
Coz I know that as much as I proceed to you
The more you will run away
And the cold is here to stay...

So I let you go..
To your warmer horizons,
Where your sun awaits your sunny disposition.
My love is here to stay with me,
To not be spread over or spilled over..
It will stay inside me like a warm fur you had pulled away from over me..
It will warm me in its crackling pain to remind me it was not all in vain.
It would cage me in its futility,
Just like I was covered earlier by your soft but acted-out humility.
This love will stay in my bones,
Reminding me of the bone chilling cold you gave me as a gift of loving you.
This love will stay in my eyes reminding me not to look for another set of searching eyes..
This love will stay in my core reminding me to ache for it no more..

(C) S Smita

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